[ His staring is an invitation for her to do the same, and from the way she settles her hands on her knees and bends slightly, leaning in intently as her eyes narrow, it's clear she doesn't mind that in the least. Even roughed up by all the wine and partying, he's lean and beautiful as ever in her mind. There's no pollen to blame this time for the way the sight of him makes her heart feel fuller, but she's weak from the hangover and, for the moment, content to sit and be with that feeling.
At least until he calls her a glowing bath angel, and she starts laughing, wincing from the way it makes her head ache all over again, even as his words (however weird they are) make her blush, the sight of him feeling his way around the room, eyes covered doing no favors to her efforts to stop giggling. ]
Well, you look like a tall, beautiful kitchen angel!
[ Despite the pain in her head, Aerith is smiling as she slips off her bangles, leaving them in a neat pile save for the thin silver one holding her healing magic before ushering herself into the bath, silently grateful his retainer already went through the work of filling the tub. ]
What's there to focus on? [ The water sloshes gently when she lifts her arms, holding them open while she looks at Sanji expectantly. ]
Come here!
[ The corners of her eyes crease with the force of the grin on her face, obviously looking forward to the idea of getting to wrap around him. ]
[ it really doesn't matter how many times he's seen her naked by now; something about looking at aerith, even when she has her clothes on, always seems to have its effect in making his heart beat faster and sometimes when he glances her way, he can't quite comprehend the fact that she's real. not only that, but that she somehow seems to like him enough to keep coming back to see him again and again.
he's pouring soap from the bottle into the tub, hand still blocking the side of his face where he'd be able to see her in the corner of his eye, when the water begins to slosh about and he can see her legs beneath the surface. it finally convinces him to lower down his hand again, a worthwhile action to be able to see the way she stretches her arms out to him, looking as cute as ever. ]
Aerith-chaaaan!
[ his eye is notably sparkling yet again, because she strikes at his heart in looking like the purest most beautiful thing he's ever been so lucky to stare at.
oh, to hell with it, how could he resist!?
one long leg loops over the side of the tub, into the water that's beginning to bubble before he climbs in with the other and sits down with bent knees, reaching with his arms between them to snag her at her sides, tugging her forward to his body to bundle her in a hug. ]
[ Even though her attempts to be the big spoon have been momentarily thwarted by the way he climbs into the tub facing her, she can't bring herself to mind as she's collected up into Sanji's arms and pulled into a hug. She shuts her eyes tight and ducks her head, burying her face in his neck, muffling a soft, appreciative laugh against his skin, too achy to bask in his presence as she might on one of their more sober afternoons together, but intensely grateful for him all the same.
The wide, stupid smile on her face is evident when she lifts her chin and lets her cheek press against his, tilting her head up so she can kiss his temple before she leans back and meets his gaze, her bright eyes warm with affection. Wet fingers lift out of the water and comb through his hair, pushing it back from his face so she can look at him properly. ]
Now who's the gorgeous bath angel?
[ Aerith already knows the answer to that (him), so she doesn't bother to wait for a reply. Leaning in she kisses him square in the middle of the forehead before her lips find the tip of his nose, either cheek, and finally, his mouth. The hand that's been toying with his hair moves to his cheek, cradling the side of his face while the pad of her thumb traces over his jaw. ]
Come on, turn around and lay back, I want to heal you.
[ Curaga isn't exactly a hangover cure, but it'll take the edge off, and, maybe not-so-secretly, she likes the thought of feeling him resting against her while she takes care of him.
She shifts, her back resting against the side of the tub, and raises her eyebrows at him expectantly, the portrait of a woman on a mission to spoon. ]
[ no hangover will ever be enough to tire him out fully, not to the extent that he can't fawn over a beautiful woman and proclaim his loud and proud worship over her, especially when the woman in question is aerith, looking adorable and gorgeous and sexy and sweet and precious, all in the same breath. he wants her to know exactly what he thinks of her, for her to constantly know that she's appreciated and adored like this, and he'll never tire of giving her reminders.
when she pulls back to peer at him, he's still got his charmed and goofy face on, prepared to answer her question with a "you, of course! β‘" before the kiss to his forehead softens his expression, plenty as his skin warms with every soft brush of her lips.
he doesn't move as she grants him each kiss, up until one lands on his mouth and he leans in just enough to return the sweetness of that peck, lips spreading into a wider smile as she caresses his face. ]
You've already healed me in ways you hardly know.
[ it might fall into the category of more exaggerated compliments, but it's spoken with even more sincerity, his smile lighter and sweeter as he merely looks at her for a long moment before he finally breaks out into a chuckle, turning his body around and sliding back to rest himself against her chest, head lightly pressing against her collar. ]
[ Maybe heal isn't the word for it, but that he's seen the most terrible parts of her past and hasn't treated her like a weirdo, or some fragile princess who might break and needs to be coddled, means a lot in ways she lacks the words (or maybe just the courage) to express. He's special to her. She wasn't broken and he didn't fix her, and she wasn't wounded, so he didn't heal her, but there were cracks in her heart that don't feel quite as raw as they used to, like a vase that shattered and been pieced back together with its faultlines sealed in gold.
After Sanji settles against her, one arm slips across his chest, hugging her closer to him while her legs join the effort, wrapping around his hips and stretching out, her ankles bumping his shins, just as affectionate as the rest of her.
There's a moment where all she does is hold him with as much of herself as she can manage, concealing her grin in his hair and briefly wondering if she isn't somehow drunk all over again with how giddy she feels just being here.
Her hand moves to the side of his head so she can brush through his hair as a soft green light starts to radiate out from her fingers and sink into him, defanging the bite of his headache as it moves. ]
This isn't what this is for, but, it'll help you feel better.
[ the heat of the water is a nice reliever to all the aching feelings on his body, plus a lot better than the discomfort he's felt in just trying to lie in bed to fight the soreness of all the night's activities. but the actual warmth that's most relieving of all is when he aerith encircles her legs around him and he feels the snuggly wrap of her against his back, safe and comfortable.
closing his eyes, his smile obvious and happy, he could fall asleep right here.
but he blinks when he feels the soothing sensation along the side of his head, the minor ache there, previously subtly throbbing, now beginning to dissolve away. ]
Whatβ? [ he can just slightly catch a glimpse of that green light, but there isn't a moment where he even considers to move himself away from it, having full trust in aerith for whatever it is she happens to be doing. besides, it feels ... nice. ] When you said heal, I didn't know you meant ... [ literally. ] How're you doing that?
[ She watches the light of her magic catch his hair, tingeing it a shade of light green that pulls on her heart and makes her think of home. It's downright absurd to let concepts like Sanji and home overlap even for a second but the sight ingrains itself into her memory anyway, leaving her with the bittersweet thought that she'll draw on it often someday when she really is gone for good and she needs it most. ]
Maybe I'm magic.
[ A wry smile curves its way over her lips at the question, and she lets the light taper off so she can stretch her arm out and give her arm a shake, gently jostling the bangle around it, the lone green orb fixed into it catching the light as she moves. ]
It's healing materia. I left it on so I could take care of you.
[ if she stopped with just that in her explanation β maybe i'm magic β it'd be more than enough for him to believe, since so much about aerith is encased in this idea of something beyond ordinary, almost angelic in her existence and presence in his life. but he watches as she stretches her arm for him, blinking as he stares at the orb within her bangle. ]
That's ... materia?
[ he has no idea at all what that word alone means, but he's more caught up in staring at the orb itself, thoughtful for a moment like it's seemingly familiar somehow ... ]
Oh! [ he jolts, sitting up suddenly as he slightly turns, trying to face her. ] Your marble! [ well, not a marble. as she's now explained. materia. ] The white one! I have it.
[ He sits up with a start and Aerith does the same, her brow furrowing in confusion before she connects the dots and laughs at the description, reaching out to rest her hands and on his shoulders again, delighted by the rush of relief that runs through her, knowing it's safe and sound. ]
That's wonderful news! I thought it was gone forever when I couldn't find it at home.
[ She thought it would be with the hair ribbon Zack found, if anything, but, in it's own weird Andovale way, it makes sense that something that precious to her ended up in Sanji's care.
Leaning forward, she presses a kiss to his shoulder before settling back against the tub, gently tugging him to lay against her. ]
It was my mother's. [ He might remember her from such nightmarish visions as - being trapped in a crate full of dead women. ] It doesn't do anything like the ones in my bracelets, but just having it means the world to me.
[ when he sees the visible relief in her expression, he feels plenty of his own, especially in knowing that he was able to retrieve and protect something so important to her. with the events in the woods and dealing with the after effects, he'd almost forgotten about it. ]
It was at my bedside when you disappeared. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get it back to you.
[ he was worried about a lot of other things, about her, but that seemed just as essential. there's even a letter still left somewhere sharing that sentiment.
at her encouragement, he finally wills himself to relax again, easing his body back once more to rest upon her chest, allowing himself to sigh and relax without the need to jolt himself out of it again. instead, he listens to her words, staring at the water quietly as she makes mention of her mother.
of course he remembers. it's impossible to forget the way they'd met, how they turned nightmares into something beautiful by the end of it all. ]
Then I'm even more relieved you're able to get it back. [ he takes one of her hands from his body, brushing his fingers against her palm as he brings it up to his mouth, kiss light upon her knuckle. ] I'd give anything to have something of mine. I couldn't take anything with me when I left that place. [ he doesn't even have a photograph of her anymore. it'd all been too sudden. ] But I kept it protected for you.
[ The thought that he wouldn't have the chance to give her materia back sends a flutter of worry through her stomach, making it feel crucially important to curve herself against him and shift so that she can stretch her legs out and tangle them with his. It's a move she's all the happier for making when Sanji mentions his mother and the way he'd needed to flee his home. She hated her cell, but she hates the one he was held in more. The memory of that horrible mask trapping her head makes the arm she's kept around him tighten almost protectively while he brings her other hand up to kiss, leaving her stretching her fingers out in response, brushing his cheek while Sanji's lips dust across her knuckles. ]
I don't know if there's anyone else I'd want to look after it. I know you understand.
[ Warmth lingers in her voice, but it's taken on a somber note too, a chill she tries to chase away by turning her head so that she can press kisses against his hair before adding an almost sullen-soundingβ ] Wish you didn't.
[ He's so bright and full of joy, that he's been exposed to things worse than what she's endured in the Shinra Building will always hurt her heart, even though she's grateful for the way these experiences have left them both able to see and understand one another in a way she's not sure she's had before. He should have a picture of his mother. They both should.
Weary as she is it might have been easy to let herself dwell, but despite the dark topic, it's also wonderful to be here like this, wrapping around him in the comforting confines of a hot bath, the bridge of her nose nuzzling his hair, the notion that she can linger here and get to watch him make her breakfast softening the sharper edges of her thoughts. Everything just clicks into place when she's with him. ]
How will I pay you back? [ Clearly a rhetorical question given the way she kisses the back of his head and immediately follows it up. ] I'll just have to protect you.
[ he doesn't need to see her face to recognize how she might have been affected by this, feeling that secured wrap of her arm, coaxing out a sigh that's all too relieved that things have worked out for the better in all of this. not only in getting back something important to her, but in getting back her. sanji's forced to close his eyes briefly at that selfish thought; how could he want something so badly that isn't meant for him?
i know you understand. and how deeply he does. it might be that because he does, he feels that much closer to her now, the way their nightmares had been peeled so explicitly in front of one another when they'd only barely known each other's names.
his eyes remain closed in just taking in this moment now, in taking in her, the softness of her breathing as it flutters against his hair, her nose a gentle nuzzle that somehow leaves the rest of him warm, more so than the warmth of the water around him. if he could just stay here like this, to make it last, to quiet the rest of his priorities that would take him home and far away from her, to pretend that he could take her up in his arms and carry her with him to the all blue β
it's her words then that coaxes his eyes back open. ]
Eh? [ he blinks, he leans back, shifting his head to rest on her shoulder as he tries to peer back at her. ] You'll protect me?
[ how often is he the only proclaiming his status as protector, always keen to look out for the women in his life, never expecting the reverse, never wanting the reverse, because what it means to become a burden to someone else. ]
That's right. [ She draws the last word out, letting it fill with a touch of music before turning her head enough that she can meet his eye, smiling serenely all the while. ]
You can't be the only person keeping what's precious to me safe.
[ What else can she promise him? Beyond this strange pocket between universes are worlds teeming with obligations and roads that remain unwalked but not forgotten. She would promise him anything he asked, and having that sense of certainty about Sanji comes with its own weight.
And maybe that's the price tag of loving like this, and once she's home, she'll regret returning without her heart, but deep down, Aerith knows that could never be true. He can have it - he already does. ]
Sanjiβ [ Aerith continues, voice low and warm as damp fingers trace the side of his face, grazing the slight dimple on his cheek with the pad of her thumb. ]
[ sanji gets caught up in just ... looking at her. just for a moment. there's times where he can stare at a woman and his eyes might reshape themselves into piercing hearts that jump out of the sockets, clearly admiring her for her beauty, typically the physical kind. but then there's times like this, where his eyes instead maintain their sea-colored gaze, where the softness invites the quiet behind them, laced with the ache that needs β closeness, protection, company, love.
sometimes he's left to wonder how aerith could summon all of those things to easily fill his heart up with them, to make him feel so belonging to another person (even when he knows the impossibility of it).
her thumb grazes his dimple and it coaxes him to put on a smile, deepening the little curve further, before he reaches up to take her wrist, tilting his head to press his lips to the heel of her palm. ]
If it's you, how could I ever say no?
[ he sinks a little more into the water, further allowing him to rest on her even more so that he's practically looking up at her now. ]
You can protect me, Aerith-chan. And in exchange β you let me do anything for you. Because I would. There isn't anything I wouldn't give to make sure you keep that smile.
[ If it's you⦠the words twist her heart in beautiful, bittersweet knots that linger the longer he looks at her like that. If it's her, if it's him, if, if, if. She knows what a might have been looks like - it's the same sort of longing laden potential that's colored her understanding of what love is since the first time she felt this way about anyone.
With Sanji, there won't be years of waiting, no questions and letters unanswered - here is what they have - here is all they have. This tub and the familiar weight of his body against hers as he sinks down further and let's himself rest against her, the silly, exhilarating feeling that comes when his smile grows and he's left kissing the heel of her palm - it's enough. She'll take it with her. ]
You don't have to do anything for that to happen, Sanji.
[ She likes this angle and the way it lets her take in every flash and glint of happiness on his face, she likes that the way he always stares gives her the freedom to do the same thing. It's impossible to commit a whole person to memory but damn if she doesn't want to try. ]
Just this.
[ And she'll even smile as she says it to prove it, even if the whole truth is more than she can ask for and he could ever give. ]
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At least until he calls her a glowing bath angel, and she starts laughing, wincing from the way it makes her head ache all over again, even as his words (however weird they are) make her blush, the sight of him feeling his way around the room, eyes covered doing no favors to her efforts to stop giggling. ]
Well, you look like a tall, beautiful kitchen angel!
[ Despite the pain in her head, Aerith is smiling as she slips off her bangles, leaving them in a neat pile save for the thin silver one holding her healing magic before ushering herself into the bath, silently grateful his retainer already went through the work of filling the tub. ]
What's there to focus on? [ The water sloshes gently when she lifts her arms, holding them open while she looks at Sanji expectantly. ]
Come here!
[ The corners of her eyes crease with the force of the grin on her face, obviously looking forward to the idea of getting to wrap around him. ]
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he's pouring soap from the bottle into the tub, hand still blocking the side of his face where he'd be able to see her in the corner of his eye, when the water begins to slosh about and he can see her legs beneath the surface. it finally convinces him to lower down his hand again, a worthwhile action to be able to see the way she stretches her arms out to him, looking as cute as ever. ]
Aerith-chaaaan!
[ his eye is notably sparkling yet again, because she strikes at his heart in looking like the purest most beautiful thing he's ever been so lucky to stare at.
oh, to hell with it, how could he resist!?
one long leg loops over the side of the tub, into the water that's beginning to bubble before he climbs in with the other and sits down with bent knees, reaching with his arms between them to snag her at her sides, tugging her forward to his body to bundle her in a hug. ]
My gorgeous goddess bath angel! β‘
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The wide, stupid smile on her face is evident when she lifts her chin and lets her cheek press against his, tilting her head up so she can kiss his temple before she leans back and meets his gaze, her bright eyes warm with affection. Wet fingers lift out of the water and comb through his hair, pushing it back from his face so she can look at him properly. ]
Now who's the gorgeous bath angel?
[ Aerith already knows the answer to that (him), so she doesn't bother to wait for a reply. Leaning in she kisses him square in the middle of the forehead before her lips find the tip of his nose, either cheek, and finally, his mouth. The hand that's been toying with his hair moves to his cheek, cradling the side of his face while the pad of her thumb traces over his jaw. ]
Come on, turn around and lay back, I want to heal you.
[ Curaga isn't exactly a hangover cure, but it'll take the edge off, and, maybe not-so-secretly, she likes the thought of feeling him resting against her while she takes care of him.
She shifts, her back resting against the side of the tub, and raises her eyebrows at him expectantly, the portrait of a woman on a mission to spoon. ]
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when she pulls back to peer at him, he's still got his charmed and goofy face on, prepared to answer her question with a "you, of course! β‘" before the kiss to his forehead softens his expression, plenty as his skin warms with every soft brush of her lips.
he doesn't move as she grants him each kiss, up until one lands on his mouth and he leans in just enough to return the sweetness of that peck, lips spreading into a wider smile as she caresses his face. ]
You've already healed me in ways you hardly know.
[ it might fall into the category of more exaggerated compliments, but it's spoken with even more sincerity, his smile lighter and sweeter as he merely looks at her for a long moment before he finally breaks out into a chuckle, turning his body around and sliding back to rest himself against her chest, head lightly pressing against her collar. ]
This is heavenly.
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[ Maybe heal isn't the word for it, but that he's seen the most terrible parts of her past and hasn't treated her like a weirdo, or some fragile princess who might break and needs to be coddled, means a lot in ways she lacks the words (or maybe just the courage) to express. He's special to her. She wasn't broken and he didn't fix her, and she wasn't wounded, so he didn't heal her, but there were cracks in her heart that don't feel quite as raw as they used to, like a vase that shattered and been pieced back together with its faultlines sealed in gold.
After Sanji settles against her, one arm slips across his chest, hugging her closer to him while her legs join the effort, wrapping around his hips and stretching out, her ankles bumping his shins, just as affectionate as the rest of her.
There's a moment where all she does is hold him with as much of herself as she can manage, concealing her grin in his hair and briefly wondering if she isn't somehow drunk all over again with how giddy she feels just being here.
Her hand moves to the side of his head so she can brush through his hair as a soft green light starts to radiate out from her fingers and sink into him, defanging the bite of his headache as it moves. ]
This isn't what this is for, but, it'll help you feel better.
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closing his eyes, his smile obvious and happy, he could fall asleep right here.
but he blinks when he feels the soothing sensation along the side of his head, the minor ache there, previously subtly throbbing, now beginning to dissolve away. ]
Whatβ? [ he can just slightly catch a glimpse of that green light, but there isn't a moment where he even considers to move himself away from it, having full trust in aerith for whatever it is she happens to be doing. besides, it feels ... nice. ] When you said heal, I didn't know you meant ... [ literally. ] How're you doing that?
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Maybe I'm magic.
[ A wry smile curves its way over her lips at the question, and she lets the light taper off so she can stretch her arm out and give her arm a shake, gently jostling the bangle around it, the lone green orb fixed into it catching the light as she moves. ]
It's healing materia. I left it on so I could take care of you.
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That's ... materia?
[ he has no idea at all what that word alone means, but he's more caught up in staring at the orb itself, thoughtful for a moment like it's seemingly familiar somehow ... ]
Oh! [ he jolts, sitting up suddenly as he slightly turns, trying to face her. ] Your marble! [ well, not a marble. as she's now explained. materia. ] The white one! I have it.
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[ He sits up with a start and Aerith does the same, her brow furrowing in confusion before she connects the dots and laughs at the description, reaching out to rest her hands and on his shoulders again, delighted by the rush of relief that runs through her, knowing it's safe and sound. ]
That's wonderful news! I thought it was gone forever when I couldn't find it at home.
[ She thought it would be with the hair ribbon Zack found, if anything, but, in it's own weird Andovale way, it makes sense that something that precious to her ended up in Sanji's care.
Leaning forward, she presses a kiss to his shoulder before settling back against the tub, gently tugging him to lay against her. ]
It was my mother's. [ He might remember her from such nightmarish visions as - being trapped in a crate full of dead women. ] It doesn't do anything like the ones in my bracelets, but just having it means the world to me.
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It was at my bedside when you disappeared. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get it back to you.
[ he was worried about a lot of other things, about her, but that seemed just as essential. there's even a letter still left somewhere sharing that sentiment.
at her encouragement, he finally wills himself to relax again, easing his body back once more to rest upon her chest, allowing himself to sigh and relax without the need to jolt himself out of it again. instead, he listens to her words, staring at the water quietly as she makes mention of her mother.
of course he remembers. it's impossible to forget the way they'd met, how they turned nightmares into something beautiful by the end of it all. ]
Then I'm even more relieved you're able to get it back. [ he takes one of her hands from his body, brushing his fingers against her palm as he brings it up to his mouth, kiss light upon her knuckle. ] I'd give anything to have something of mine. I couldn't take anything with me when I left that place. [ he doesn't even have a photograph of her anymore. it'd all been too sudden. ] But I kept it protected for you.
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I don't know if there's anyone else I'd want to look after it. I know you understand.
[ Warmth lingers in her voice, but it's taken on a somber note too, a chill she tries to chase away by turning her head so that she can press kisses against his hair before adding an almost sullen-soundingβ ] Wish you didn't.
[ He's so bright and full of joy, that he's been exposed to things worse than what she's endured in the Shinra Building will always hurt her heart, even though she's grateful for the way these experiences have left them both able to see and understand one another in a way she's not sure she's had before. He should have a picture of his mother. They both should.
Weary as she is it might have been easy to let herself dwell, but despite the dark topic, it's also wonderful to be here like this, wrapping around him in the comforting confines of a hot bath, the bridge of her nose nuzzling his hair, the notion that she can linger here and get to watch him make her breakfast softening the sharper edges of her thoughts. Everything just clicks into place when she's with him. ]
How will I pay you back? [ Clearly a rhetorical question given the way she kisses the back of his head and immediately follows it up. ] I'll just have to protect you.
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i know you understand. and how deeply he does. it might be that because he does, he feels that much closer to her now, the way their nightmares had been peeled so explicitly in front of one another when they'd only barely known each other's names.
his eyes remain closed in just taking in this moment now, in taking in her, the softness of her breathing as it flutters against his hair, her nose a gentle nuzzle that somehow leaves the rest of him warm, more so than the warmth of the water around him. if he could just stay here like this, to make it last, to quiet the rest of his priorities that would take him home and far away from her, to pretend that he could take her up in his arms and carry her with him to the all blue β
it's her words then that coaxes his eyes back open. ]
Eh? [ he blinks, he leans back, shifting his head to rest on her shoulder as he tries to peer back at her. ] You'll protect me?
[ how often is he the only proclaiming his status as protector, always keen to look out for the women in his life, never expecting the reverse, never wanting the reverse, because what it means to become a burden to someone else. ]
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You can't be the only person keeping what's precious to me safe.
[ What else can she promise him? Beyond this strange pocket between universes are worlds teeming with obligations and roads that remain unwalked but not forgotten. She would promise him anything he asked, and having that sense of certainty about Sanji comes with its own weight.
And maybe that's the price tag of loving like this, and once she's home, she'll regret returning without her heart, but deep down, Aerith knows that could never be true. He can have it - he already does. ]
Sanjiβ [ Aerith continues, voice low and warm as damp fingers trace the side of his face, grazing the slight dimple on his cheek with the pad of her thumb. ]
Stop trying to have all the fun.
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sometimes he's left to wonder how aerith could summon all of those things to easily fill his heart up with them, to make him feel so belonging to another person (even when he knows the impossibility of it).
her thumb grazes his dimple and it coaxes him to put on a smile, deepening the little curve further, before he reaches up to take her wrist, tilting his head to press his lips to the heel of her palm. ]
If it's you, how could I ever say no?
[ he sinks a little more into the water, further allowing him to rest on her even more so that he's practically looking up at her now. ]
You can protect me, Aerith-chan. And in exchange β you let me do anything for you. Because I would. There isn't anything I wouldn't give to make sure you keep that smile.
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With Sanji, there won't be years of waiting, no questions and letters unanswered - here is what they have - here is all they have. This tub and the familiar weight of his body against hers as he sinks down further and let's himself rest against her, the silly, exhilarating feeling that comes when his smile grows and he's left kissing the heel of her palm - it's enough. She'll take it with her. ]
You don't have to do anything for that to happen, Sanji.
[ She likes this angle and the way it lets her take in every flash and glint of happiness on his face, she likes that the way he always stares gives her the freedom to do the same thing. It's impossible to commit a whole person to memory but damn if she doesn't want to try. ]
Just this.
[ And she'll even smile as she says it to prove it, even if the whole truth is more than she can ask for and he could ever give. ]