[ it probably isn't fair to bring up a moment like that after so long, but it's never stopped mattering to sanji. by then, they'd already found equal ground with one another, past the constant frustration he had initially faced to prove that he and zoro could stand on the same footing. but instead of standing side by side that day, zoro had taken on all of the pain on his own, letting himself be the only sacrifice — either because of his own stubbornness or from some belief that sanji couldn't bear it like he could, he can't say, since talking about anything has never been their way.
years later, sanji couldn't even do something as simple as getting married for the sake of trying to prevent pain on his friends. what does that say about his own worth to stand at zoro's side as equals? all his sacrifices did was make things worse, in the end. especially when it turned out, it hadn't even mattered. big mom would have betrayed germa anyway and he'd just be dead. he'd hurt his own captain to play hero and it'd been for nothing.
if he's bringing up the past now, it's only because he knows he can't measure up to it.
but then suddenly, zoro's voice is gone, cut off too suddenly that sanji's left to wonder if the idiot had somehow been talking while walking aimlessly and fell into a hole or something. ]
Zoro—?
[ it might just be because of the weight of their conversation that he's actually concerned about the silence of it (worried? why the hell would he ever be worried??), disrupted only when eventually a message comes through, the name attached recognizable from when he'd spoken to tsukuyo.
in reading the message, whatever self-guilt that had been bubbling up dissolves to be replaced by directed anger again, the source of how he was able to deliver those words annoying the hell out of him (That hypocritical bastard, I swear I'm gonna send him to hell), and possibly even more heated still because he's now aware of the vulnerability he'd allowed himself in that spare moment. ]
I DON'T NEED TO WASTE MY TIME TALKING TO YOU ANYWAY, YOU SHITTY BASTARD
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years later, sanji couldn't even do something as simple as getting married for the sake of trying to prevent pain on his friends. what does that say about his own worth to stand at zoro's side as equals? all his sacrifices did was make things worse, in the end. especially when it turned out, it hadn't even mattered. big mom would have betrayed germa anyway and he'd just be dead. he'd hurt his own captain to play hero and it'd been for nothing.
if he's bringing up the past now, it's only because he knows he can't measure up to it.
but then suddenly, zoro's voice is gone, cut off too suddenly that sanji's left to wonder if the idiot had somehow been talking while walking aimlessly and fell into a hole or something. ]
Zoro—?
[ it might just be because of the weight of their conversation that he's actually concerned about the silence of it (worried? why the hell would he ever be worried??), disrupted only when eventually a message comes through, the name attached recognizable from when he'd spoken to tsukuyo.
in reading the message, whatever self-guilt that had been bubbling up dissolves to be replaced by directed anger again, the source of how he was able to deliver those words annoying the hell out of him (That hypocritical bastard, I swear I'm gonna send him to hell), and possibly even more heated still because he's now aware of the vulnerability he'd allowed himself in that spare moment. ]
I DON'T NEED TO WASTE MY TIME TALKING TO YOU ANYWAY, YOU SHITTY BASTARD