[ He only wanted you, as if sanji hadn't already known that, still hearing luffy's cries that he wouldn't take a bite of any food that hadn't been made by his hands, remembering how he happily ate up the meal of all their favorites as if it hadn't been turned to slop by rain. he doesn't need to be reminded of it.
this isn't supposed to be like this. this isn't the way that he and zoro communicate. there should be the swing of metal through the air, the friction of his soles sliding against the ground before his leg lifts, the jam of his knee against the hilt of a sword. they should be gritting teeth as eyes burn, swears shouted to evoke the heat of the fight.
the use of words, of voicing out truth and accusations — this isn't how they do things. not them. but not doing this face to face in this moment means this is all they have, and while sanji at least can spare some of his dignity by hiding his face, he can't disguise the guilt laced in the sound of his voice.
but it also means that zoro can't hide himself either, not his anger and whatever else lives in his rising volume. for someone who's always maintained a steadiness amongst the group while the rest live on unchecked emotion, it's telling that sanji's actions were repulsive enough to have an effect even on him. hearing it in his tone nearly makes sanji sink down, his hand brushing over his face in quiet shame, teeth biting hard on his lip. ]
Of course I did.
[ his voice isn't loud, maybe a part of him even hoping it isn't heard. at least without zoro in front of him, he can pretend he's just talking to himself. ]
I never wanted to leave. I never meant to hide anything. That part of my past was supposed to be gone. It never even wanted me. Not like—
[ not like their crew. like luffy. like the pirates on baratie. like zeff. all of the people that made up his real family, the way that germa never could be. ]
You knocked me away. [ he says suddenly, as if something else comes to mind, distant as it reels itself back to his memory. ] Two years ago — Kuma took Luffy's pain and gave it to you. It was supposed to be me and you'd didn't let me. You beared it all by yourself, so why the hell can't I!?
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this isn't supposed to be like this. this isn't the way that he and zoro communicate. there should be the swing of metal through the air, the friction of his soles sliding against the ground before his leg lifts, the jam of his knee against the hilt of a sword. they should be gritting teeth as eyes burn, swears shouted to evoke the heat of the fight.
the use of words, of voicing out truth and accusations — this isn't how they do things. not them. but not doing this face to face in this moment means this is all they have, and while sanji at least can spare some of his dignity by hiding his face, he can't disguise the guilt laced in the sound of his voice.
but it also means that zoro can't hide himself either, not his anger and whatever else lives in his rising volume. for someone who's always maintained a steadiness amongst the group while the rest live on unchecked emotion, it's telling that sanji's actions were repulsive enough to have an effect even on him. hearing it in his tone nearly makes sanji sink down, his hand brushing over his face in quiet shame, teeth biting hard on his lip. ]
Of course I did.
[ his voice isn't loud, maybe a part of him even hoping it isn't heard. at least without zoro in front of him, he can pretend he's just talking to himself. ]
I never wanted to leave. I never meant to hide anything. That part of my past was supposed to be gone. It never even wanted me. Not like—
[ not like their crew. like luffy. like the pirates on baratie. like zeff. all of the people that made up his real family, the way that germa never could be. ]
You knocked me away. [ he says suddenly, as if something else comes to mind, distant as it reels itself back to his memory. ] Two years ago — Kuma took Luffy's pain and gave it to you. It was supposed to be me and you'd didn't let me. You beared it all by yourself, so why the hell can't I!?